A big part of anxiety comes from “what if” kind of thinking. You’ve probably asked yourself some “what if” questions at some point, as in “What if I don’t do a good job on the Wilson project?” or “What if I say the wrong thing on my date?”

There are some major problems with asking yourself this question. First, it assumes that you’re going to fail in some way. Second, it takes you out of the present and into the future, where anxiety lives.

Third, it is a question driven by fear — as opposed to love — which is often a slippery slope to asking yourself other “what if” questions, spiking our anxiety unnecessarily. When we act out of love, meaning that we like and value ourself, it’s far easier to trust our knowledge and abilities.

Steer clear of “what if” questions altogether. However, if you’ve already asked yourself one, stop yourself immediately. (Try imagining an enormous red STOP sign.)  Then consider all the things under your control, which keeps you in the present and increases the likelihood for a successful outcome.

For example, if you’re working on the Wilson project, do all the research available to you, spend time writing a strong proposal and collaborate with others. If you do everything under your power, you won’t have the time or the wherewithal to ask yourself “what if” questions.

If you’d like more help with ridding yourself of ‘what if’ questions, call me at 202.588.1288 or email me at david@dctalktherapy.com