Summer Vacation Planning
Three Ways to Beat the Family Heat
Summer is in full swing and for many that means family vacations, complete with images of sand, surf and outdoor barbecues. For others, however, it brings to mind an entirely different picture, one of hostility, resentment and anxiety.
That’s because not all of us are close with our family, so a weekend at the beach with Mom, Dad, brother and sister tends to take on the feel of get-togethers at Thanksgiving and Christmas -- forced moments of closeness with people you may have longstanding conflicts with.
So, along with your sunscreen, here are three protective measures to keep in mind at the beach this summer.
| 1. Take good care of yourself physically |
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Being around family can sometimes be emotionally draining. Go for a walk along the beach. Rent a bike and ride around town. Physical exercise can be a great stress reliever, in addition to lifting your mood and boosting your energy.
Taking good care of yourself also means drinking (and eating) in moderation. A common mistake people make when getting together with family is drinking too much. That’s because, for many, it’s the best way they know of to relieve anxious or angry feelings.
People often say cruel or mean things when intoxicated, thereby worsening an already tenuous relationship with a family member. If you want to express a thought or feeling, do so when sober and you can think clearly. Chances are you’ll get a much more favorable response.
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2. Have realistic expectations |
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You and your sister haven’t been close since junior high school and three days at the beach is not going to change that. Accept that as truth. However, you may be able to enjoy each other’s company and connect on some levels, due to a shared history and perhaps a few common interests.
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3. Set limits and boundaries with others |
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Just because you’re on vacation with your family doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking moment with them. This is a common mistake people make who don’t see their families often. More time together with Mom doesn’t equate greater closeness with her.
Allow some time alone for yourself, or carve out some time with your partner. Try to find some balance on your trip.
Also, be aware of slipping into old patterns of behavior with your parents or siblings. Parents sometimes have a tendency to treat their adult children, particularly if they are unmarried, as children. Don’t allow them to make decisions for you or treat you in other ways that make you feel like a child and not their adult son or daughter. Be assertive, which means being polite and respectful but firm.
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This article appeared on 4Therapy.com in July 2007.
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